A Great Weight
May 10th 2010
There is a great weight on my (I want to say shoulders, but that doesn’t quite put it in the right context) heart. This will pass, but until it does, please forgive me if I seem somewhat distracted.
Starting from scratch
May 12th 2010
Last night, after struggling for a few days with a motivational deficiency, I finally picked up pen and paper and started working on a new draft of The Commandment (incidentally, when I say I picked up “pen and paper” I mean it literally, for this draft I’m gonna kick it old school…write on paper. How analog). Reading over the last draft, I’m finding problems with the story that I’d glossed over before. I think I was just happy to be finished the thing, and convinced myself that the problems weren’t that serious. As a piece of Drama, however, its relatively unsuccessful at the moment. I was having trouble readjusting the content, moving it and making changes. So I decided that I would start over. I can reference the previous draft if I need to, but I wanted to take a shot at a fresh beginning.
Tonight: Rehearsal for Everybody Dies.
In other news, I should really start thinking about a vacation. I didn’t take my usual writing vacation this year. Might need to do something about that.
Seven Years
May 17th 2010
Saturday May 15th marked 7 years since my sister Anna died.
There are a lot of conflicting emotions tied up with Anna. She was not always the easiest person for me to get along with. As we were growing up, she often made my life as difficult as possible. She could be a bit of a bully. As an adult, she sometimes made poor choices, and she often took advantage of me (I recall one time being asked to baby sit for an hour, which turned into 4 hours. She did not apologize when she returned). It all seems so petty to mention now, but no one individual event can really sum up the relationship that we had, and now difficult it could be.
And yet, I remember that when Erika died (which was 7 years ago this past March), it was Anna who looked out for me at the funeral. How it was she who was watching me, and helped me keep it together.
There’s a tendency that people have to treat those who have passed as saints. To never acknowledge anything but the good. I can’t white wash my sister. She was certainly no saint. But, for all the difficult times, and even more so for the good, its important to mark this date, and remember her. In spite of all the bad times, I still miss her. I miss her infectious laugh, and her smile. And I miss that when the chips were down, she would have your back, and would fight tooth and nail for you.
Seven years sounds like such a long time. But it’s not. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday we laid her to rest.
Flooded
June 29th 2010
On Sunday night, I was out with Daisy MacLean having pancakes for dinner, when I got a call from my landlord telling me that the basement was flooding. Unfortunately, I live in said basement. I rushed home, and was fortunate to find that although the carpet in the apartment was sopping wet, that I hadn’t lost anything valuable. Only a few clothes I could stand to lose anyway.
The carpet, however, needed to be torn up and disposed of, and we had to start doing it on Monday. Fortunately, I had booked Monday and Tuesday off work. I’ll be honest, when I booked those days off, it was so that I could relax before attending the Dora awards on Monday night, and recover from a late night out on Tuesday. These days were certainly nothing like I had planned. I had to clear out all the wet clothes (and other soaking things) and move furniture around, so that we could start pulling up the carpet.
By the time it was time to get ready for the Doras, I was in a lot of pain. A hot shower didn’t help much, but I got into my suit and headed out to meet Dana Fradkin and Kim & Richard Beaune for dinner. Although none of the four of us were personally up for Doras for The Belle of Winnipeg, the four of us had been at the very first meeting for the project that became The Belle of Winnipeg, and we were bursting with pride to see Lorie Brown, David Atkinson and Ginette Mohr nominated for Dora Awards. In the end, only David took home an award, but for us, the nominations were a confirmation that the show we had worked on or 4 years had a future (and that’s something we’ll be pursuing). After the very long ceremony, I stuck around for the after party for only a few minutes, because I was dead on my feet, still in a lot of pain, with more work to do the following day.
Today, the carpet had been removed, and the floor needed to be washed. Right now, without carpet, its basically a concrete floor, but we’ll be looking at getting some rugs to put down. After the floor had dried it was time to start putting the apartment back together. It was slow going, because my body still hurt and every movement pretty much just made it worse.
The apartment is mostly put back together, but there’s still work to do. And at some point this week, a plumber will come to take a look at the drain that backed up.
I go back to work tomorrow, not having had much of a vacation at all, and still in pain.
Sooo Very Tired
October 13th 2010
I am very tired. Too tired.
There is a lot going on. I have been looking for an apartment (hoping to hear about one by tomorrow), I’ve been rehearsing a one act play for Monkeyman Productions, directing another, producing both, and continuing my work with Keystone Theatre. In addition to this, I’ve been working the ol’ day job. That’s a lot.
I’ve been stressing about the apartment hunt and the impending move, stressing about producer stuff, and just generally burning the candle at both ends. Its starting to take its toll. I’m not feeling rested after a night’s sleep. Today, I woke up and felt almost as tired as I was when I fell asleep.
I need a few nights of not doing anything. I need to know that I have an apartment to move into on November 1st. I need a rest.
The Annual Navel Gaze
December 30th 2010
I don’t make New Years resolutions. They just seem to be a way to set unrealistic expectations, which lead to making you feel disappointed in yourself when you break them. So, no resolutions for me.
But I will set some goals for myself. So here, in no particular order, are my goals for the upcoming year:
- Get paid to act. In the past, I’ve done too many shows just to be doing something. This has lead to varying degrees of satisfaction. Some experiences were really great, others were not. So, the goal is to only do theatre that pays, unless (and the unless is important here), I am creating the play, or am invested in it (like a play produced by Monkeyman Productions).
- Do more directing. I have an idea for a particular Shakespeare play that I would love to do. I need to find a way to fund that. Before I tackle that play, I’ll want to improve my directing vocabulary.
- Write more. Write more. Write more. Finish the play I’m working on before moving on to the next.
- Become a better theatre marketer. I am the “Marketing Manager” for Keystone Theatre, and tried my hand at some publicity for Monkeyman for the last show. I certainly need some improvement. I have a bit of time before Keystone kicks into gear, so there is some time, but I certainly want to know what I’m doing before that happens.
- Become a better shmoozer. Be able to go to parties and make small talk and meet the right people and the like. I’m not very good at this, and I need to get better at it.
- Get an agent.
So, those are my goals for the year. There’s more of them than I initially thought there would be. I might not complete all of them, but at least I’ll have made some serious headway if I accomplish some of them.
What are your goals for the year?
