17 Days

In 17 days, I will be 40.

To be specific, in 17 days, 425 hours and 255516 minutes.*

Its funny how much that has me rattled.  Turning 30 didn’t rattle me all that much (turning 27 did, but that’s another story), but 40 does.  Maybe “rattled” is not the right word.  I’m not scared about it at all, but its started me thinking about Things.  What kind of Things?  Well, things like “legacy”.

The number forty has started me thinking about what I might leave behind.  I know that this is is a very silly thing for me to be thinking about, because (I’m told) forty is the new thirty, and its not like I’m at death’s door, but I have found myself thinking more about what I will leave behind after I’ve shuffled off this mortal coil.  I have been more serious about my writing. When I was a few years  younger (about 24-27), I wrote quite a bit, but after I spent 5 years out of the acting business I stopped.  But now, I’ve been wanting to write more.  I’ve had more ideas and spent more time actually writing.  Short stories, plays, and screenplays have all been mulling themselves around in my brain waiting to be put to digital paper.  I’ve also had a stronger desire to do more acting.  Perhaps its the logical outcome from taking so many years away from acting, but after I returned to it, I have been slowly building up the number of shows I’m doing a year, until now when I am wanting to be working on something all the time.

So, I wonder what’s going on.  Why is age 40 affecting me in this way?  Not that I’m complaining.  I’ve often lamented how I wasted my twenties in terms of my creative career, how I didn’t put enough work into acting and writing when I was younger.  I like that I am being driven like this, but I find it curious/interesting that it is the age thing that’s brought it to the fore.

What do you think?  Has an specific age or event spurred you to action?

* of course, I used a website to determine that specificity, as those who know me well know that its highly unlikely I’d have been able to get that kind of mathematical exactitude on my own.

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  1. Pingback:Phil Rickaby » Blog Archive » Bowling for Birthday

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