Seven Years

Saturday May 15th marked 7 years since my sister Anna died.

There are a lot of conflicting emotions tied up with Anna.  She was not always the easiest person for me to get along with.  As we were growing up, she often made my life as difficult as possible.  She could be a bit of a bully.  As an adult, she sometimes made poor choices, and she often took advantage of me (I recall one time being asked to baby sit for an hour, which turned into 4 hours.  She did not apologize when she returned).  It all seems so petty to mention now, but no one individual event can really sum up the relationship that we had, and now difficult it could be.

And yet, I remember that when Erika died (which was 7 years ago this past March), it was Anna who looked out for me at the funeral.  How it was she who was watching me, and helped me keep it together.

There’s a tendency that people have to treat those who have passed as saints. To never acknowledge anything but the good.  I can’t white wash my sister.  She was certainly no saint.  But, for all the difficult times, and even more so for the good, its important to mark this date, and remember her.  In spite of all the bad times, I still miss her.  I miss her infectious laugh, and her smile.  And I miss that when the chips were down, she would have your back, and would fight tooth and nail for you.

Seven years sounds like such a long time.  But it’s not.  Sometimes it feels like just yesterday we laid her to rest.