Saturday May 15th marked 7 years since my sister Anna died.
There are a lot of conflicting emotions tied up with Anna. Â She was not always the easiest person for me to get along with. Â As we were growing up, she often made my life as difficult as possible. Â She could be a bit of a bully. Â As an adult, she sometimes made poor choices, and she often took advantage of me (I recall one time being asked to baby sit for an hour, which turned into 4 hours. Â She did not apologize when she returned). Â It all seems so petty to mention now, but no one individual event can really sum up the relationship that we had, and now difficult it could be.
And yet, I remember that when Erika died (which was 7 years ago this past March), it was Anna who looked out for me at the funeral. Â How it was she who was watching me, and helped me keep it together.
There’s a tendency that people have to treat those who have passed as saints. To never acknowledge anything but the good. Â I can’t white wash my sister. Â She was certainly no saint. Â But, for all the difficult times, and even more so for the good, its important to mark this date, and remember her. Â In spite of all the bad times, I still miss her. Â I miss her infectious laugh, and her smile. Â And I miss that when the chips were down, she would have your back, and would fight tooth and nail for you.
Seven years sounds like such a long time. Â But it’s not. Â Sometimes it feels like just yesterday we laid her to rest.